Donald Trump Jr. ‘can’t wait for 4 years to be over.’ How do you think the rest of us feel?

If your dad’s presidency is such a hardship, Junior, we’ve got a perfect solution.

Donald Trump Jr. — the poor little rich guy.

A personality piece in People magazine on the president’s eldest son (actually, on the whole Trump family) paints a portrait of young Donnie as being unhappy and wishing he had his private life back.

Anonymous friends quoted in the story say that Don Jr. and Eric both “hate their roles as first sons.” It seems that they’re being over-scrutinized, as if we weren’t supposed to pay attention to the meeting Donnie had during the campaign with a passel of Russians, waiting for a delivery of dirt on Hillary Clinton.

Pardon me while I barf.

No doubt reading about these grifters will be an acceptable, if maddening, way to pass the time while you’re glancing at People while waiting for the dentist. But if the members of Family von Trump think they’re going to garner any sympathy from the majority of the country, they’ve got another thing coming.

Some tweets in reaction to Junior’s comments in the People story didn’t cut him much slack.

  • We can’t wait either.
  • I imagine his prison term will be longer than that.

Let’s hear exactly what is making Trump’s No. 1 son — the 39-year-old “good boy,” as his father put it — so “miserable,” according to the account in People:

These days, the child most in Trump’s “realm” is his daughter Ivanka, 35, who, by all accounts, has always been his favorite.

Long outshone by his sister — first at the Trump Organization and now in the White House, where she and her husband, Jared Kushner, have West Wing offices and White House titles — Don Jr. has had a harder time adapting to life after the election.

For all his campaign rallies last year and bellicose tweets this year, Trump Jr., who along with his brother Eric, 33, remained in N.Y.C. to run the family business, still relishes the quiet of his lifelong loves of hunting and fishing.

Most weekends, he escapes Trump Tower Manhattan to a rustic cabin upstate with his wife, Vanessa, and their five children. He’s a regular at the Riverside Café in Roscoe, New York, where the manager says Trump Jr. is “good people,” doesn’t seek attention, and “never has his hair slicked back like he does on TV.”

He’s just a regular guy, amirite? Despite his lying and insulting tweets, despite the fact that the Trump re-election campaign is paying Junior’s legal bills, despite his whole family’s jet-setting ways (accompanied by Secret Service agents paid for by taxpayers, of course), despite the new hotels Donnie has been flying around the world to open, and despite a new line of hotels the family is planning? The Boston Globe described the new hotel chain as a plan to “Make America stay in Trump hotels again.”

Friends of Don Jr. say he “can’t do any deals, because he’ll be overly scrutinized. He just goes to work every day and is miserable.” Yet brother Eric bragged in March about how the Trump family business is booming. According to a report from Talking Points Memo, incorporating reporting from The New York Times:

“The stars have all aligned,” Trump told the paper. “I think our brand is the hottest it has ever been.”

While he didn’t say exactly what had aligned, one can only assume that his father, and the namesake of the brand and its many facets, being President surely helps, as The New York Times noted.

The Times noted a plethora of golf tournaments that will be held on Trump properties in the coming months, properties that Trump himself has golfed on seven times since he was inaugurated. The Trump hotel in Washington, D.C. is becoming a hub in the nation’s capital, so much so that a local wine bar is suing, citing “unfair competition.”

Ivanka Trump, too, seems to be cleaning up. Trump fans are buying her clothes as if she were the fashion design equivalent of the second coming. Fortune magazine reports that sales of Ivanka’s lines rose 61 percent in 2016 for an annual sales total of $47.3 million. “The election campaign, and subsequent win by her father, President Donald Trump, exponentially increased the niche brand’s visibility to the broader public,” according to Fortune.

Actually, there’s a simple solution to Trump Jr.’s woes. Have your freeloading, popular-vote-loser father resign, since he doesn’t seem to like the job, and he’s obviously not very good at it. But that would mean the rest of you wouldn’t make as much money, wouldn’t it?

I’m sure that die-hard Trumpinistas will buy the Trump People issue in droves, eager to devour any and all words about their White House savior and his offspring. “THE TRUMP FAMILY SECRETS & LIES” screams the banner across People.

Actually, it might be better to skip those stories and focus on “Royal Tots on Tour!” Those are bound to be adorable photos of George and Charlotte, the two royal youngsters of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, aka Prince William and his wife, Catherine.

There, I covered everything you needed to know about the People report. Now go get your teeth cleaned.

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