Donald Trump is a wazzock and other British insults (UPDATED)

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In response to an online petition from nearly 600,000 Britons to ban a certain loud-mouthed U.S. presidential candidate from their shores, the British House of Commons held a “debate” on the subject of keeping out Donald Trump.

Of course, it wasn’t a real debate, because only the British Home Secretary, not Parliament, has the actual power to ban an individual from entering the UK. But after Trump suggested that he would ban Muslims from entering the United States, many of the good people of Great Britain decided it might be best to ban him.

Members of Parliament held a three-hour debate in Westminster Hall to discuss the petition. The ultimate conclusion was not to ban the American real estate mogul, but the MPs didn’t hold back on their insults. The following are some of the more colorful — and decidedly British — terms used in the debate as reported by the Washington Post.

“If Trump were to pop into one of the many ‘excellent’ pubs in her constituency, the Conservative member Victoria Atkins said he would likely be called a ‘wazzock’ — British slang for an annoying person. (The Guardian explains that ‘wazzock’ is a mild insult that can be ‘used on telly without frightening your gran.’ ”

“Demagogue, idiot, fool, and buffoon” were terms used to describe Trump throughout the three-hour session, which was replayed on C-SPAN on U.S. television.

“I have tried to find different, perhaps more parliamentary adjectives to describe him but none was clear enough. He is an idiot,” said Gavin Newlands, a Scottish National Party politician.

Another Scottish National Party politician weighed in. Anne McLaughlin noted that Trump is “the son of a Scottish immigrant. And I apologize for that.”

Some members were afraid Trump would just benefit from the attention. Marcus Fysh, a Conservative politician, said banning Trump would be counterproductive and that Trump was “the orange prince of American self-publicity.”

Naz Shah, a Muslim MP from Bradford in northern England, has a constituency with many Muslims and offered a hand of friendship. “Instead of banning Trump,” the Post story said, “Shah proposed that the real estate mogul pay her a visit. The member of the opposition Labour Party promised she would show him around ‘the curry capital of Britain,’ take him to a local mosque, and try to disabuse him of any misconceptions about life in the UK.”

Good luck on that one, MP Shah.

“No one spoke to defend Trump — and everyone took turns condemning him,” the Post story said. “But for many, the logic came down to this: Trump may strike them as despicable, but it would be playing into his hands, and could even help his U.S. prospects, to bar him from the country. The better option, they suggested, was to prove to him that he had it all wrong.” Instead, as one MP said, they decided to meet him with the “classic British response of ridicule.”

You can watch the debate here.

UPDATE: Trump made some ridiculous remarks after a slight majority of those in the UK voted to leave the European Union. He was in Scotland hawking his new golf course and seemed to be under the impression that people in Scotland were celebrating, even though they voted heavily in favor of “Remain.” I thought we should enjoy some tweets, which convinced me never to try to match wits with a Brit.

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